«However, our most important tip is deceptively but beautifully simple: to ensure your work is irreproducible, make sure that you cannot reproduce it yourself. If you were able to reproduce it, there would always be the danger of somebody else being able to do exactly the same as you. Much else follows from this; for example, complete confidence in your own inability to reproduce work saves tedious time revising your work on advice from reviewers: if you are unable to browbeat the editor into accepting it as is, you can always resubmit elsewhere.
A major advantage of this key insight is that no strict discipline is required to ensure self-irreproducibility: in our experience, irreproducibility can happily occur after only the tiniest amount of carelessness at one of any number of stages. We make a simple conjecture: an experiment that is irreproducible is exactly equivalent to an experiment that was never carried out at all. The happy consequences of this conjecture for experts in irreproducibility will be published elsewhere, with extremely impressive experimental support. We close with a mantra for scientists interested in irreproducibility: After Publishing Research, Irreproducibility Lets False Observations Obtain Longevity!»